Archive for the ‘Insights’ Category

Sigh…Rough day today.  Happy to be at home, in my gardens, at my computer with the cat curled up on my lap as I type.  Any where but at the senior center today.  Such a heavy feeling today.  It was challenging to be there.  Had that feeling of wanting to run away.  There was anger around me, turmoil and frustration.

I took a few moments from time to time to acknowledge myself as a powerful creator, creating my experience.  I called my energy back, feeling the energy surge through me.  Centering myself in that power.  Allowing myself to feel my feelings.  It was difficult to observe without judgment today.  I didn’t want to be in this soup so to speak.

I had to ask myself what I could do to change this.  What change do I need to make?  What do I want?

I was just reminded that Mercury Retrograde starts tomorrow, Friday, August 20 and lasts for 3 weeks.  This is always a good time to take some extra time for yourself.  Take time to journal, self reflect, slow down a bit.  It’s not a time to rush forward into anything.  It is a time when issues and old patterns surface.  Take the time now to reflect on them.  Don’t push.

This is a wonderful time for healing work.  I have time available for new healing clients.

It’s been a wonderful afternoon and evening.  Let’s just include the whole day in that wonderful.  It’s Friday, my short day at work.  Had my eyes examined, no not my head.  Stopped at Boscov’s and bought a few clothes on sale, yea.  Had dinner with one of my best friends at one of my favorite Tai restaurants.  I’m grateful for spell check because I seem to have a mental block for spelling restaurant correctly.  Then we saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love and it was great.  I saw a 2-1/2 star rating on it today and think that was from an unenlightened person.  Some comment about the movie being about a self absorbed woman.  Well, I’m thinking they just don’t understand the inner journey.

Life is good.  I appreciate the contrast.  I know I can still enjoy life while I am processing a feeling of lose and heart ache.  My vessel is strong enough to hold both.  I can love and grieve at the same time.  I can appreciate the beauty around me.

It’s all me.

It’s a great day to play this game called Life. Years ago I attended the event of a Guru where I heard the phrase, “It’s a great day to die.” It appeared melodramic to me at the time.  It was a student who spoke of it to the Guru.  He was referring to his ego and requesting assistance from the Guru.

We each have to find our own way to awaken from the illusion we have created in this life.  If for no other reason than to realize we have more influence over what is happening right now.  You aren’t a helpless human being pushed and manipulated by some unseen Heirarchy.  Unless of course that’s what you want to create.  Can you believe you have the power, wisdom and abundance to create whatever you desire?

Re-claim your power from the illusion.  Name it as an illusion.  A wonderful game.  Feel the power come back to you.  When you are focused on fear you have given your power over to another person or thing.  You can also give your power over to pleasure if you forget it’s an illusion.  I believe this is where the phrase, “Money is the root of all evil.” comes from.  Money is an object that is not capable of evil.  People forget.  They can become obsessed with pleasure to the point of destruction.  That’s when it has power over you.  That’s when it has become an addiction.  An obsession.  When you are willing to lie and cheat.  Then it isn’t true pleasure.  Then this “pleasure” is based in fear.

True pleasure and joy does no harm.  It is honest.  In fact as we experience our true pleasure we bring healing to those around us.  Use your gifts and talents that bring you joy and pleasure to uplift.  As you benefit, so do those around you.

Re-claim your divine joy.

In Love,

Susan

You were “predetermined” to have a joyful, expansive experience, and the
way in which you will do that is all up to you. All other choices are for
your physical format. Everything is still in the process of being created.
There is no creation that has reached its completion.

— Abraham

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted and decided not to go to work. I also realized I pushed myself the day before. It didn’t look like much, but I joined some people for dinner when I was already feeling unusually tired. I took a 15 minute catnap and could have taken more. Then I felt annoyance as I went to the event because I didn’t want to go. I felt obligated. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So I’m paying for it today. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, but the fact that I didn’t really want to go is the issue.

The real issue is I was avoiding the possibility of someone objecting or feeling hurt. Why is it OK for me to feel hurt? Why don’t I think they can handle dealing with their own issues.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Take one for the Gipper.” That’s the saying I was hearing in my head this morning. Is that what I think I’m doing? Being heroic. Then I had another funny thought. What would the world be like if we didn’t people didn’t take that shot for someone else? How would history be different? I’m not a history buff and I can’t think of any accounts off the top of my head. Do you know of any?

How would your life be different if didn’t do things out of a sense of obligation. What if we all just learned to accept the answers people gave us. Even when they didn’t do what we wanted them to do. Can you let something go if someone turns down an invitation without some comment to follow that may induce guilt or a feeling of harassment? Don’t you love it when it’s meant as a joke? A joke in disguise. Not funny. Did it feel funny. No, but we politely laugh don’t we.

The truth is present. There is an energy exchange with or without words. If it didn’t feel good, it wasn’t funny. Which reminds me. If I do something out of a sense of guilt or obligation the energy I am bringing isn’t pleasant either. I’m not doing them or myself any favors. I’m bringing tension. Hmmmm….what are you bringing to the party?

Here I go again, peeling the onion, so to speak. The onion being ME and my spiritual path. My journey in this life.

Perfection. Ugh. We can get caught in it like a web. Wound so tight that we can’t move for fear that we won’t get it right or it will be messy. What is it? Anything you may hold dear. The closer it is to your heart the tighter you may hold it.

How do you get yourself to move? Give yourself permission to make a mess. Give yourself permission to do it wrong? But do it.

Here’s one of my examples. It was an “ah ha” moment. I was struggling years ago to create the perfect class schedule. Yea, I know it might sound silly. I was teaching numerous yoga classes and trying to figure out the BEST days and times. I wasn’t getting anywhere because I couldn’t get it right. I was wound tight around the idea that there was a perfect schedule.

I stopped what I was doing and went to my art supplies. I had a fairly large piece of laminate that was already prepped and waiting. I gave myself permission to make a mess. There was no right way in that moment. Nothing I could do wrong. I painted. I followed a flow of pleasure. Whatever color felt good, whatever stroke felt good. I did it. I let the energy flow.

I’ll tell you it’s an abstract piece. Afterward I sat down and finished that schedule in no time. Done. No worries. Whew. I could breath again. I could move. I had to find someway to get myself moving. Someway to give myself permission to just do it.

I found it interesting how many compliments I received on that piece of art. The energy spoke to people. It was raw, honest and angry. I was angry at feeling so stuck. At that point the anger was healthy. An anger that I could channel into setting myself free.

It takes energy to set yourself free. If you are using a mask of Spiritual goodness you may be hiding that energy. Stuffing it down because there is this belief that to be Spiritual means you are always serene and happy. That’s a load of crap. Life can be messy. Messy can be great fun with the right attitude. Oops, sorry I used the word “right” now didn’t I. Perfection just creeps in everywhere now doesn’t it.

I don’t  like to feel helpless.  I want to take charge and fix things.  Can you relate to this?  As I listen to people tell me about their pain and suffering there is a part of me that wants to fix it and make the pain go away.  I must admit it is for my sake as well as theirs.  I feel their pain, fear and frustration.  I want to fix it so I don’t have to feel it.  Contact with them is painful.  That’s the judgment.

The challenge is to try not to rescue them.  It doesn’t work anyway.  I know from experience.  It doesn’t empower them.  Then what do we do?

I call it holding space or energy.  You know they have the resources and answers within themselves.  My intention is too empower them.  Know they have what it takes to face this challenge.  There are plenty of tools to give them.  I find they must be given with care.  They have to be ready for those tools or they will just be thrown to the side and rejected.  When I talk about tools that could mean supplements, books or healing methods.

I need to stay present and aware of my own energy, being careful not to push energy at them.  If you have children, they will give you plenty of practice!  I have experienced this over and over.  If I try to push or manipulate the solution it falls flat.  If I I am present and in contact holding this space the energy moves and  solutions open up.

I can’t make you feel better about yourself.  I can only reflect to you what I see and feel.  You choose what to believe.  You can accept it or reject it based on your beliefs.  Love yourself.

I remember having a hair cut I wasn’t so sure I liked.  I had some inner turmoil going on about it.  Once I decided I liked it, without saying that to anyone, people started to compliment my new cut.

It is our self acceptance that gives others permission to love us more.  Our energy field allows them in.

I was listening to a relationship coach the other evening and they said something interesting that has me thinking and reflecting.  Their statement was, “The Spark in relationship comes from our differences, not our similarities.”

Reflecting on my own relationship I can’t say that I agree.  I don’t think you can put “spark” in a box and neatly define it.  I remember our first date.  The sparks that were flying had nothing to do with differences.  I remember being excited that we had similar languages, so to speak.  We were both familiar with Law of Attraction, we are both creative, and spiritual.

Do our differences create spark?  Sometimes.  I believe we have both enhanced each others lives with our differences.

I really believe “spark” is felt from a vibrant life force energy.  When my partner is creative and excited about his own life.  When he is caring for himself I find him much more attractive.

What do you think?  What do you believe creates the “spark” in your relationship?

I’m about 1/2 way through the book Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson.  It’s a great book about his experiences helping to rebuild schools and bring peace in Afghanistan and Pakistan.  I love this passage and wanted to share this from the book:

“We had come into this stricken valley in order to build schools and to promote education, we were inviting the people of the area to become our teachers.  And in so doing, Sarfraz and I wound up relearning the lesson that had originally been imparted to me, all those years ago, by the silver-bearded Haji Ali in the village of Korphe.

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn.  Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.”

You know when you hear a truth.  You get one of those heightened feelings.  He goes on in the book to relate a story of how they couldn’t figure out why students weren’t coming back to school.  It was a child that had the answer.

You can get your own copy at Stones into Schools