Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

When I went to the Matrix Energetics workshop last weekend I went with a mental laundry list of items I wanted to focus on improving in my life. Relationship was one of them. In fact I would say relationship was at the core of everything I wanted to address for myself. This included a significant partner, money, my relationship with authority, my own authority, etc.

I felt significant shift for myself while there. Just getting there was a break through. I touched deeper into trusting the universe to answer my prayers. We’ve heard, “ask and it is given,” but do we always really believe it.

I packed my bag early Saturday morning knowing I wanted to stay the weekend in Baltimore at the event, but not really knowing how I was going to financially manage. I ended up sitting next to Kathy. As Saturday progressed we got to know each other better and I couldn’t have planned it better myself. She had a room with two beds and we hit it off great.

The weekend progressed with releasing some old relationship patterns that were no longer serving me. My relationships have improved, but the icing on the cake is I see my son’s relationships improving. If you really want to help your children. Work on your own issues. In this week he has shared three different situations that reflect significant improvement in his life.

If you think spending money on your own healing journey is a waste or too much money, think again. Not only do you benefit, but everyone that you are connected to benefits. That makes the investment rather insignificant.

Have relationship challenges. Give me a call today.

Hold on Loosely by .38 Special, one of my favorites.  It came on the radio as I pulled in the driveway this afternoon.  It stimulated my thoughts on relationship, makes sense, that’s what the song’s about.  It’s a topic that’s important to me.  Finding that balance in a relationship where I feel like I have myself, my space, my life, my freedom yet I’m in a relationship.  I need my space.  I need alone time.  I’m an Aquarian, I think that’s part of it.  I also pick up a good bit of info through feeling.  So part of my alone time is about clearing and cleansing my field and staying in touch with myself.

At the beginning of relationships we have the eros.  That wonderful chemical high.  We can’t get enough and we feel like we’re floating on a cloud.  Then after a few months we adjust.  The light dims and certain realities rise to the surface.  This is where that heart connection is most important.  I thinks this is when you really start to develop the heart connection and you get the opportunity to work on your relationship issues/beliefs.

Hold on loosely.  That’s the theme here.  Love is a many faceted topic.  Let’s stick with one.  Ultimately I want a relationship that fits like a glove.  I know there will be some custom fitting to be worked out between us.  I need to know what I need and be able to state it clearly.  Letting someone in yet creating healthy boundaries.

That’s ultimately the challenge.  Take responsibility for ourselves and speaking up.  Good god you can’t expect your partner to read your mind.  Even if you can read each other pretty well, there’s a lot of interpretation that can get messed up.  I don’t care how psychic either of you think you are.  Our history and personal experiences cloud or color the story.  You really aren’t going to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth without a heart to heart conversation.  Many conversations, yea and some arguments.  Most likely some hurt feelings.  It gets messy sometimes.  The wonderful opportunity we have in all relationships is the remodeling job on ourselves.  You can’t remodel a home without making some mess.  I don’t think relationships are any different.

I’ve asked for space before in relationships without saying what that meant.  Honestly I can understand why it wasn’t met with a great reaction.  I was feeling like I had no time or space for myself and no choices.  My reaction was to pull away, my pulling away triggered his abandonment issues.  If you aren’t communicating clearly  misinterpretation and hurt feelings are inevitable.  Even when you think you are communicating clearly misinterpretation arises.

It’s a big topic.  I’ll leave it here for now.  Hold on loosely, AND communicate well.  If that still doesn’t cut it, you might just have to move on till you connect with someone that “gets” you better.  Someone that appreciates you, even with your quirks and issues.

Here’s .38 Special and Hold On Loosely

 

 

In Joy,

Susan

 

My family held a memorial for my brother Jim who passed away on June 4.  It was privately held at my Mother’s.  I shared the following poems and then we released butterfly’s.

I Am Free

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free.  I am following the path God laid for me.  I took His hand when I heard Him call.

I turned my back and left it all.  I could not stay another day to laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way.  I found that peace at the close of the day.  If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.  Ah, these things I, too, will miss.  Be not burdened with time of sorrow.

I wish for you the sunshine of tomorrow.  My life’s been full, I savored much.  Good friends, good times, a loved one touched.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.  Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.  Lift up your heart and share with me.  God wanted me now; He set me free.

While Waiting for Thee

Don’t weep at my grave, For I am not there.  I’ve a date with a butterfly to dance in the air.  I’ll be singing in the sunshine, wild and free.  Playing tag with the wind while I’m waiting for thee.

A Symbol of Hope

A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world, but then it flies again.  And though we wish it could have stayed…we feel lucky to have seen it.

As you release this butterfly in honor of Jim know that he is with you and will always be.  Hold a hand, say a prayer, close your eyes and see Jim there.  Although you may feel a bit torn apart, please know that Jim will be forever in your heart.  Now fly away butterfly, as high as you can go.  Jim’s right there with you more than you know.

 

 

Last evening I spent with my brother Jim during the last 4.5 hours of his physical life. My family was also there. In hind site I realize I had energetically been with him all day. I had awoken that Saturday morning feeling an exhaustion that felt like a disconnection from life. When I would relax and go with it I would sleep or just sit peacefully. When I went into fear I would struggle against it and I would try to “accomplish” something. I knew life was shifting and changing.

Late afternoon before I laid down for another nap I shuffled The Journey Oracle cards and “The Messenger” popped up. There is plenty of room for interpretation with oracle cards. I believe there was room to apply several meanings, but the main message was “imminent arrival of important news.” I took my nap, woke hearing a text message from a friend arrive, then as I was contemplating some dinner my Mother called to tell me the VA Hospital had called to say Jim was declining.

It was an honor to be with him and help him relax and let go in peace. He knew we were there. We gently spoke with him, held him and loved him. I continued to hold his hand till his breath gently slipped away and his heart gently stopped. I am grateful for the experience. It was peaceful.

I am grateful that he has released himself from the tired physical body to an expanded freedom and remembering of the truth of who he truly is. I know he was met by his youngest soon who had passed away about 2 years prior, our Father and Grandparents.

His death reminds me to live my life more fully.

In Love,
Susan

Being a Harry Potter fan I recently saw the newest release Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. The house elf, Dobbie is wonderful.  I would truly enjoy having a house elf live with me. Of course if you are familiar with the Potter books you know that the role of house elf is really one of slavery. As powerful as the little creatures are they don’t have independence and freedom. Unless of course they are given an article of clothing.

I had not given this part any thought when I made my original wish for a house elf. I truly am not looking to enslave any creature. Especially if makes them unhappy and inflicts pain. I think the example would serve us all to examine the dynamics in our relationships.

The relationship between the house elf and it’s master is quite dramatic and clear. I believe most of us would object. Yet it is a mirror worth examining because people have subtle ways of controlling one another and justifying it. We don’t see our own control tactics.

Common reasons people control others:
Fear of losing that person or relationship.
Feelings of lack.
They were taught that relationship style by example.
Fear of being hurt/overpowered.
Getting their needs met.

Common relationship control:
Money is huge. One person has, the other doesn’t. Money becomes the bait to keep the other in relationship. The one who lacks the money is provided for on the condition that they behave in a certain way or fulfill the others desires. There is always the unspoken threat of losing the roof over their head or what ever support is being provided should they displease the one with money.

Does that mean I believe there can’t be a healthy relationship between two people with different economic situations. Money is a symbol of power in our society. I think its a rare situation where money is not being used to control on some level, however subtle.  In the job market many have lost their negotiating power through lack of choice.  It’s this job or possibly none.  Employers have more advantage at this time.  As soon as you have choice, you have negotiating power.

Without knowing much about the program I believe Habitat for Humanity make a great effort to empower the people they assist. The family’s receiving the assistance must contribute to the homes they are receiving. I believe EMPOWERMENT is the key element.

Empowerment builds the other person. It does not control. It allows choice. If I empower you I allow you to take the gift and leave. I allow you the freedom to choose. That choice may not meet my needs. I need to accept that. Empowerment aims to create win-win situations. It allows all parties involved to stand as equals or as a team.  Every team has and needs a leader, but leading does not mean standing over another.  The job of the leader is to build a team.  Working side by side toward a common goal.  In fact there is a quote that I am unable at the moment to locate that states, “a leader will follow and provide for based on the others needs.”

In looking at all of this I realize there are house elves to be had. They come in the form of people who clean homes for a living, bookkeepers, personal assistants, lawn care people, body guards, and any number of services you may be needing.  The exchange is money.  Each party having the freedom to enter or leave the relationship.

I guess I was really wishing to have help with my work load.

I am adjusting my wish.  I would like to have the means to exchange with a number of people in equally satisfying relationships to help me get certain jobs done so that I have more time to do the things I really love to do.  That is a much longer explanation for a house elf, but it’s worth it.  I appreciate realizing what the house elf symbolized to me.  It represents my own freedom and joy.

I wish everyone empowered relationships where their needs are met.

In Love,




I felt resistance when I saw the first post to change my profile picture in hopes of bringing awareness to violense against children. Awareness is always the first step to healing. Denial allows us to look the other way and pretend it doesn’t exist.

When I Googled cartoon pictures I couldn’t initially remember being particularly captivated by any one cartoon. I felt pretty far removed from cartoons and my experience of them. When I caught sight of Tinkerbell I remembered introducing myself to a new friend as Tinkerbell. As I saw other characters show up on Facebook this weekend it made me smile and remember.

I would certainly never choose to relive my childhood. Like many other peope my life wasn’t filled with happy family memories. We had our hidden issues. My Father was an alcholic. That effected many areas of our lives. My Mother did the best she could. I admired her and thought her an amazing woman. She is an amazing, powerful woman.

Something has occurred to me though. I learned to define being a strong, powerful woman by how much pain I was willing to tolerate. Not long ago a friend of mine expressed his own similar view of what a strong, powerful woman was. He described the women in his family as strong because they tolerated poor behavior from their husbands. They put up with it. They lived through it.

I realize I want to redefine what a strong, powerful woman is for myself. A powerful woman is empowered. She is capable of taking care of herself. She is willing to walk away from someone who treats her poorly. She will not allow her children to be subject to abuse. A powerful woman is not there to “fix” her partner. He can only do that for himself. Allowing herself to be treated poorly only reinforces his behavior. All the money and things in the world aren’t worth it.

As a strong, powerful, empowered woman I choose to be in relationships with those that treat me with respect and give from their hearts. I realize I define how relationships show up by how I love myself. I know it takes strength and self love to walk away.

Children don’t have this choice. They must find ways to cope and defend in order to survive. Let’s start by commiting to our own healing. In our healing the consciousness expands. It’s all energy. Healing our own hurts, defenses and pains makes it more accessible for others. We are all connected. Our separation is an illusion.

This is Why We Changed Our Profile Pictures to Cartoons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTcz1Q2EYwk

I provide counseling and healing sessions.  I am a graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and have studied other modalities that have enhanced my ability to be present with you as you allow transformation.  I am honored and blessed to work with clients.  It is my pleasure.

http://innerwisdomhealing.com/products-and-services/

In Love,

Susan

Relationships aren’t business strategies. While care and planning are important in any relationship if they don’t flow through the heart they end up cold and distant.  It takes courage and strength to live through your heart.  That’s not the same as wearing your heart on your sleeve or being a doormat.  It’s about listening to the wisdom of the heart, then balancing that with the plans in your head.