I have been getting my yard in shape.  You know the typical trimming bushes, weeding, planting, and mulching.  It’s great therapy vs “work” if gardening is your thing.  Don’t ask me to cut the grass though.  I’ve done it plenty of times.  That feels like work to me.

Gardening is a form of meditation for me.  Most of the time it’s easy to still my mind and open up to the universe.  Yesterday was not one of those quiet mind days.  Fresh from a hurt with my ex-boy friend my mind kept wanting to replay and focus on the hurt.  Can you relate?

We all try to run from the pain.  What we need to remember is it’s all energy.  The energy wants to move.  The sooner we allow it to move the sooner we will come out the other side.   We have to allow ourselves to move through it.  Feel it without getting caught up in the stories, blame, victim hood, etc.

Yea, right.  Well, I didn’t say it was easy or that you will do it perfectly.  NO WAY.  Sometimes you get hit with something that hurts and you react.

So in my garden yesterday I just kept trying to observe the feelings.  When my head would start ranting I starting chanting.  I love chanting meditations for several reasons.  They give my mind something to focus on.  Most of the time that works, but from a lot of experience I can tell you sometimes the mind still works it’s way around the chanting.

Yesterday was a heavy hitter day and I worked my way through 1/2 dozen chants, along with focusing on my breathing, and being present in the moment.  I focused on feeling present in my body as I moved.  This will take you deeper into your feelings.  This is generally what most people try to avoid by finding distractions or things to numb.

I recommend you deal with it sooner than later.  You can block and bury the emotions for awhile, but they will come out eventually.  How?  It’s blocked energy.  You will create illness, you will lash out at the wrong person at the wrong time, you can project it onto to others and get it mirrored back at yourself.  You will eventually have to deal with it in one form or another.

Another reason to chant, the vibration.  You are sending a positive vibration through your body and energy field.  It isn’t just about the words.  It’s not about being in your head.  Don’t chant from your mind.  You bring the sound current down through your body and feel it.

It’s not a magic bullet, but it does feel good.  Through my pain I kept coming back to the positive vibrations of chanting.  It gave me a relief from the pain without being destructive.  It sent a healing wave through me, helping me get to the dawn of a new day.

I have attached a video with a meditation using the mantra “Sat Nam.”  It is Sanskrit and means to identify the truth within.  Enjoy.

q

 

I felt resistance when I saw the first post to change my profile picture in hopes of bringing awareness to violense against children. Awareness is always the first step to healing. Denial allows us to look the other way and pretend it doesn’t exist.

When I Googled cartoon pictures I couldn’t initially remember being particularly captivated by any one cartoon. I felt pretty far removed from cartoons and my experience of them. When I caught sight of Tinkerbell I remembered introducing myself to a new friend as Tinkerbell. As I saw other characters show up on Facebook this weekend it made me smile and remember.

I would certainly never choose to relive my childhood. Like many other peope my life wasn’t filled with happy family memories. We had our hidden issues. My Father was an alcholic. That effected many areas of our lives. My Mother did the best she could. I admired her and thought her an amazing woman. She is an amazing, powerful woman.

Something has occurred to me though. I learned to define being a strong, powerful woman by how much pain I was willing to tolerate. Not long ago a friend of mine expressed his own similar view of what a strong, powerful woman was. He described the women in his family as strong because they tolerated poor behavior from their husbands. They put up with it. They lived through it.

I realize I want to redefine what a strong, powerful woman is for myself. A powerful woman is empowered. She is capable of taking care of herself. She is willing to walk away from someone who treats her poorly. She will not allow her children to be subject to abuse. A powerful woman is not there to “fix” her partner. He can only do that for himself. Allowing herself to be treated poorly only reinforces his behavior. All the money and things in the world aren’t worth it.

As a strong, powerful, empowered woman I choose to be in relationships with those that treat me with respect and give from their hearts. I realize I define how relationships show up by how I love myself. I know it takes strength and self love to walk away.

Children don’t have this choice. They must find ways to cope and defend in order to survive. Let’s start by commiting to our own healing. In our healing the consciousness expands. It’s all energy. Healing our own hurts, defenses and pains makes it more accessible for others. We are all connected. Our separation is an illusion.

This is Why We Changed Our Profile Pictures to Cartoons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTcz1Q2EYwk

I provide counseling and healing sessions.  I am a graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and have studied other modalities that have enhanced my ability to be present with you as you allow transformation.  I am honored and blessed to work with clients.  It is my pleasure.

http://innerwisdomhealing.com/products-and-services/

In Love,

Susan

Written by Rebecca Wells in Ya-Yas in Bloom also wrote Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  The character Vivi has just had a nasty confrontation with a nun at her son’s school.  “I am sick to death of crap being crammed down my throat.  The Mary they shove down my throat is impossibly good.  She is blue and pink gowns.  She is roses and crowns and stars all around her.  She is all sweetness and perfection.”

“I want to vomit up all this Catholic shit and choose my own thoughts!  Choose a Holy Mother who is strong, who thinks for herself and is brave as hell.  I want to blot out all those white-bearded tired ass old men and pray to a gorgeous woman who crushes snakes with her bare feet.  She’s the one who’ll set us free.  One of these days I’m just going to quit praying to God.  I’m going to pray only to a strong sassy Mary.”

“What do they want of me!!  I know I’m not the best mother, but I do the best I can.  Which of course is never enough.  Every day I wake up and pray, Mary, please ask God to make me a loving and patient and kind all day long.  Please help me keep my temper.  And then when I am not perfect, I feel like SHIT!”

  I love her passion and anger in this statement.  She is angry at being judged and condemned for being less than.  I guess I can relate.  Have you ever been condemned or judged when you were in your glory.  Have you ever upset someone, made them uncomfortable when you were flying high.  In their discomfort they put you down.  Their fear lashes out at you.  They wanted to impose their rules on you.

Did you listen?  Did you learn to embody the fear?  Did you learn to judge and condemn yourself?  Do you hold yourself back?

Now, can you give yourself permission to release yourself from your own prison.  It’s now you that condemns yourself.  It’s you that is judging yourself.  Recognize that fear and judgment.  Work through the quaking and shaking.  Allow yourself to feel it and move through it to freedom.  The only way through it, is to feel it.

In the story Vivi’s friend Caro tells her this, “What if God didn’t intend for everything everything to be perfect?  What if He knew it was going to be a holy mess, and he loved us anyway?  What if Adam and Eve weren’t sinning?  What if that prenatal original sin stain on our souls is not even there?”

Even when we think we are beyond those old teachings it’s amazing how they hide in our lives and pop out.  When do you feel guilty?  When do you feel like someone outside of you is condemning or judging you?

Need help?  I’d love to help you to a bigger and better you. A happy more powerful you.  Click on the Inner Wisdom Healing link for more information.
Inner Wisdom Healing

Sigh…Rough day today.  Happy to be at home, in my gardens, at my computer with the cat curled up on my lap as I type.  Any where but at the senior center today.  Such a heavy feeling today.  It was challenging to be there.  Had that feeling of wanting to run away.  There was anger around me, turmoil and frustration.

I took a few moments from time to time to acknowledge myself as a powerful creator, creating my experience.  I called my energy back, feeling the energy surge through me.  Centering myself in that power.  Allowing myself to feel my feelings.  It was difficult to observe without judgment today.  I didn’t want to be in this soup so to speak.

I had to ask myself what I could do to change this.  What change do I need to make?  What do I want?

Here I go again, peeling the onion, so to speak. The onion being ME and my spiritual path. My journey in this life.

Perfection. Ugh. We can get caught in it like a web. Wound so tight that we can’t move for fear that we won’t get it right or it will be messy. What is it? Anything you may hold dear. The closer it is to your heart the tighter you may hold it.

How do you get yourself to move? Give yourself permission to make a mess. Give yourself permission to do it wrong? But do it.

Here’s one of my examples. It was an “ah ha” moment. I was struggling years ago to create the perfect class schedule. Yea, I know it might sound silly. I was teaching numerous yoga classes and trying to figure out the BEST days and times. I wasn’t getting anywhere because I couldn’t get it right. I was wound tight around the idea that there was a perfect schedule.

I stopped what I was doing and went to my art supplies. I had a fairly large piece of laminate that was already prepped and waiting. I gave myself permission to make a mess. There was no right way in that moment. Nothing I could do wrong. I painted. I followed a flow of pleasure. Whatever color felt good, whatever stroke felt good. I did it. I let the energy flow.

I’ll tell you it’s an abstract piece. Afterward I sat down and finished that schedule in no time. Done. No worries. Whew. I could breath again. I could move. I had to find someway to get myself moving. Someway to give myself permission to just do it.

I found it interesting how many compliments I received on that piece of art. The energy spoke to people. It was raw, honest and angry. I was angry at feeling so stuck. At that point the anger was healthy. An anger that I could channel into setting myself free.

It takes energy to set yourself free. If you are using a mask of Spiritual goodness you may be hiding that energy. Stuffing it down because there is this belief that to be Spiritual means you are always serene and happy. That’s a load of crap. Life can be messy. Messy can be great fun with the right attitude. Oops, sorry I used the word “right” now didn’t I. Perfection just creeps in everywhere now doesn’t it.

If you are continuously attracting the circumstances around you by what you are thinking and feeling then you realize the importance of taking time to check in with yourself.  You know what I’m talking about.  Those days when something hits you between the eyes and you feel kinda beat up.

Someone was just relaying her experience on a trip where she lost her drivers license, and went through every possible check at the airport under the name of you have been randomly selected.  Hmmm…do you have a target on your back or are you caught up in a vibration that you aren’t enjoying. Your experiences are by vibration.

I’ve had my own experience lately with a very angry gentleman and a controlling woman.  I would say they are both very controlling but with different techniques.  OK, I’m not a victim.  Yea, I may want to enjoy that role for a moment as I vent.  But the quicker we come around to ask ourselves “what’s happening withing me” the sooner we will shift the experience.  “They” will either leave or feel no need to act out.

The sooner we can stop focusing on the negative the less energy goes that direction.   It’s amazing how one person out of group can get your attention with negativity and you put your focus there and get stuck.  Then you whine and think about it and complain about it and on and on.

The sooner you can remember all the other nice people in the room the better.  Oh that’s right how many nice comments you’ve had.  How happy everyone else seems to be that you exist.  So you tick one person off.  Focus on all the people that appreciate you and you will get more of the same.

The other will leave or get quiet.

“When you begin to understand Law of Attraction, and you understand that which is like unto itself is drawn, then it is easier and easier to understand that you are offering a signal, and the entire Universe responds. And when you finally get that, and you begin to exercise some deliberate control about the signal that you offer, then it really begins to be fun, because then you recognize that nothing happens outside of your creative control. There are no things that happen by chance or by circumstance. There is nothing that is happening because of something you vibrated a long time ago or in a past life. It is not about what you were born into. It is only about what you are, right now, in this red hot fresh moment emitting.”

-Abraham-Hicks

Emotion is an important part of our creative process. What do you do when you are feeling angry and annoyed. You don’t want destructive creation which can stem from anger. You can use anger as a spring board. If we keep in mind it’s all energy. Our emotions, no matter if we label them positive or negative, they are a flow of energy.

The first thing to do is to identify why you feel angry. For example, someone has something you want. Or they have something you think you need. Ultimately what is the end result you want? What do you think you will get from the “having?” Happiness? Love? Good health?

Here’s the moment when the light comes on. When you can identifiy the underlying need you are trying to fulfill. You have the opportunity to stop focusing on what you don’t think you have. You claim your power back and use your energy and power to create what you desire.

Someone else having what you think you need does not keep you from having your desired outcome. The trick is to follow it the trail far enough back to identify your true desire. Is it the car? The relationship? The vacation? Or is it really feeling rich, confident or loved?

Find the truth and the universe will help you fulfill it.