I woke up this morning feeling exhausted and decided not to go to work. I also realized I pushed myself the day before. It didn’t look like much, but I joined some people for dinner when I was already feeling unusually tired. I took a 15 minute catnap and could have taken more. Then I felt annoyance as I went to the event because I didn’t want to go. I felt obligated. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So I’m paying for it today. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, but the fact that I didn’t really want to go is the issue.

The real issue is I was avoiding the possibility of someone objecting or feeling hurt. Why is it OK for me to feel hurt? Why don’t I think they can handle dealing with their own issues.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Take one for the Gipper.” That’s the saying I was hearing in my head this morning. Is that what I think I’m doing? Being heroic. Then I had another funny thought. What would the world be like if we didn’t people didn’t take that shot for someone else? How would history be different? I’m not a history buff and I can’t think of any accounts off the top of my head. Do you know of any?

How would your life be different if didn’t do things out of a sense of obligation. What if we all just learned to accept the answers people gave us. Even when they didn’t do what we wanted them to do. Can you let something go if someone turns down an invitation without some comment to follow that may induce guilt or a feeling of harassment? Don’t you love it when it’s meant as a joke? A joke in disguise. Not funny. Did it feel funny. No, but we politely laugh don’t we.

The truth is present. There is an energy exchange with or without words. If it didn’t feel good, it wasn’t funny. Which reminds me. If I do something out of a sense of guilt or obligation the energy I am bringing isn’t pleasant either. I’m not doing them or myself any favors. I’m bringing tension. Hmmmm….what are you bringing to the party?

As I move into this time of creation, I feel the power of something bigger than me, moving with me, supporting and empowering me. I know all things are possible.

As I explore how I am going to create the healing I desire, I will notice this support and acknowledge it. I know that I do not have to figure this out all at once.

All I have to do is begin right where I am and consciously choose to move toward what I want.

My life is right now a time of discovery and creation. Out of my own being I feel the joy and freedom that comes with knowing I can create reality.

I’m about 1/2 way through the book Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson.  It’s a great book about his experiences helping to rebuild schools and bring peace in Afghanistan and Pakistan.  I love this passage and wanted to share this from the book:

“We had come into this stricken valley in order to build schools and to promote education, we were inviting the people of the area to become our teachers.  And in so doing, Sarfraz and I wound up relearning the lesson that had originally been imparted to me, all those years ago, by the silver-bearded Haji Ali in the village of Korphe.

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn.  Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.”

You know when you hear a truth.  You get one of those heightened feelings.  He goes on in the book to relate a story of how they couldn’t figure out why students weren’t coming back to school.  It was a child that had the answer.

You can get your own copy at Stones into Schools

I finally figured out how to create a book page with the links I wanted.  I’ve been wanting to share some of the great books I’m reading.  Here’s one of several I have going.  What If It All Goes Right? Creating a New World of Peace, Prosperity & Possibility by Mindy Audlin.  Tony gifted it to me and the timing was good.  Have you noticed how that happens?  I’ll stop reading a book for a while, then pick it up when I really need to read what was in the next section.

What if … everything is in divine order right now.  Doesn’t the unknown just scare the bejezzes out of you sometimes?  We hang on, ok I hang on resisting the change.  Ugh.  OK time to let go.  Trust.  Thank you.

I just checked out the influence of an eclipse, wow.  I’ve been feeling the effects today on many levels.  Check it out.  How are you doing?

Astrology

What would it look like if you released you inner conflict today?  What would it feel like?  How difficult do you think that has to be?  Try experimenting with it.  Just set your intention to release YOUR inner conflict for the day and see what happens.

My children have been a wonderful blessing. I believe they have taught me as much as I may have taught them. They have reflected back to me those things I like about myself and things I feel challenged to face.

Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for
yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your
ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective,
powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as
your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you.

— Abraham

Various experiences over the years since my divorce about 15 years ago have made me think about reverting to my maiden name.  The first and most important reason I didn’t change it immediately after the divorce was my children.  I didn’t want them to feel I was some how rejecting some aspect of them.

The topic surfaced recently when I was introduced to a wonderful Numerologist in the UK via the internet, gotta love it, Marusja Harasymiw.  My boyfriend had his analysis done and was very impressed with the accuracy.  He arranged one for me also.  I let her know I had considered changing my name so when she did my analysis we also took time to talk about the influence of my current name.

Her analysis is great.  It confirmed many things that I do know about myself.  Being 49 and having done a lot of the work I have such as yoga, meditation and the Barbara Brennan School of Healing I have come to know myself pretty well so there weren’t any surprises.  I did get some good reminders. Good validation and a nudge in the right direction.  We can really get in our own way with self doubt sometimes.

The analysis is pretty indepth and covers different periods through out your life.  I appreciated why I’ve had some of the life challenges that I have had and why I made some of the choices I did.

The analysis also gave me a good idea what was important for me to focus on this year and an idea for the future.  I came to realize the things I was waffling about were much more important right now than I had realized.  I’ll call it the Divine giving me a wake up call that Marusja and I connected.  Yup I needed that message.  Thank you.

So let me introduce or in some cases reintroduce myself: 

Susan L. Strahosky

Am I reinventing myself?  No, I’m reconnecting or deepening the connection with my true self.  The vibration of this name serves me better.  It supports the truth of who I already am.  There are so many influences in our lives from a young age that make us forget or reject important parts of ourselves.  It’s always a blessing to have a reminder that you are a blessing to this world.  Not that I was doubting it.  I was also reminded of some key gifts I had come into this world to share and I must admit I have gotten off tract a bit over the past few years.  The last few years have been quite an education.  I’m sure I will put it to good use.  Maybe it’s time to take that piece and pick up the others.  I really prefer to have the glass half full.  No mistakes please, just learning opportunities.

As I was reading my analysis I couldn’t help thinking how beneficial it could be to have something like this when you are young.  It’s a great tool to use on your life journey.  We have been blessed with many tools and each of us have to find what works for us.

I’ve ordered an analysis to gift to each of my children.  They may not think much of it now.  My hope is that they will gain some insight and maybe some more appreciation for who they are.  I hope it helps them to share their essence with the world.  We can all use a reminder once in a while.

Marusja is intuitive and a delight to work with.  You can find her at marusja@gratefulminds.co.uk

Be Well and In Joy

How honest are you being with yourself?  Huh?  What do you mean?  Of course I’m honest with myself you think.  Are you?  When is the last time you sat quietly and asked yourself a question and then really listened?  Don’t we normally just love to just say “This is working or things aren’t the way I want or I really want such and such.”  Most often we aren’t investing the time to explore what it is we really want.  Sometimes we have a hard time admitting what it is we want because of judgment.

It’s easier to blame the world outside of ourselves.  That isn’t going to get you what you want though.  Take some time today to listen.  Pick an area of your life that “isn’t working.”   Get a notebook and write it out.  Write out your questions, thoughts and what you think your heart truly desires.

“Be a servant to your heart’s inner truth, and your life in turn will bow to you and its Master.” –Elizabeth Clare Profit

Happy exploring.