Posts Tagged ‘inner wisdom’

Hold on Loosely by .38 Special, one of my favorites.  It came on the radio as I pulled in the driveway this afternoon.  It stimulated my thoughts on relationship, makes sense, that’s what the song’s about.  It’s a topic that’s important to me.  Finding that balance in a relationship where I feel like I have myself, my space, my life, my freedom yet I’m in a relationship.  I need my space.  I need alone time.  I’m an Aquarian, I think that’s part of it.  I also pick up a good bit of info through feeling.  So part of my alone time is about clearing and cleansing my field and staying in touch with myself.

At the beginning of relationships we have the eros.  That wonderful chemical high.  We can’t get enough and we feel like we’re floating on a cloud.  Then after a few months we adjust.  The light dims and certain realities rise to the surface.  This is where that heart connection is most important.  I thinks this is when you really start to develop the heart connection and you get the opportunity to work on your relationship issues/beliefs.

Hold on loosely.  That’s the theme here.  Love is a many faceted topic.  Let’s stick with one.  Ultimately I want a relationship that fits like a glove.  I know there will be some custom fitting to be worked out between us.  I need to know what I need and be able to state it clearly.  Letting someone in yet creating healthy boundaries.

That’s ultimately the challenge.  Take responsibility for ourselves and speaking up.  Good god you can’t expect your partner to read your mind.  Even if you can read each other pretty well, there’s a lot of interpretation that can get messed up.  I don’t care how psychic either of you think you are.  Our history and personal experiences cloud or color the story.  You really aren’t going to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth without a heart to heart conversation.  Many conversations, yea and some arguments.  Most likely some hurt feelings.  It gets messy sometimes.  The wonderful opportunity we have in all relationships is the remodeling job on ourselves.  You can’t remodel a home without making some mess.  I don’t think relationships are any different.

I’ve asked for space before in relationships without saying what that meant.  Honestly I can understand why it wasn’t met with a great reaction.  I was feeling like I had no time or space for myself and no choices.  My reaction was to pull away, my pulling away triggered his abandonment issues.  If you aren’t communicating clearly  misinterpretation and hurt feelings are inevitable.  Even when you think you are communicating clearly misinterpretation arises.

It’s a big topic.  I’ll leave it here for now.  Hold on loosely, AND communicate well.  If that still doesn’t cut it, you might just have to move on till you connect with someone that “gets” you better.  Someone that appreciates you, even with your quirks and issues.

Here’s .38 Special and Hold On Loosely

 

 

In Joy,

Susan

 

There is nothing useless here.  The universe has put nothing here that doesn’t serve a purpose.  It is our job to discover or allow ourselves to use our gifts and talents.  We all have a part to play.  Put aside the judgment and get curious.  Even those things we label as bad have a purpose.  All challenges and experiences play an important role, even if we don’t understand.  We get disappointed and/or angry.  OK, when you are done with that try moving on to curious.  What do you have to learn?  What is this giving you?  How does it motivate you? What can you learn today?

In Love,

Susan

I see it in your eyes. You are asking me to save you. I can’t.

 

I will stand by your side and be still with you. I will help you to find that deep dark cave within yourself.

 

The cave is filled with riches beyond your wildest imagining. Within the cave your essence resides. Gleaming, glowing, sparkling. You must go deep within yourself to find it there. It is worth more than you can ever earn. It will set you free.

 

Take my hand. Let me show you. We will both dive within ourselves. You don’t have to know the way. Just follow within yourself. Let me light your way.

 

Breath and sink down. See the glow deep within the cave of yourself. Feel it. Breath into it. Allow it to expand. This is your essence. Allow it to expand to every cell of your body and beyond.

 

Create from here.

We all have to make them. Most of our daily choices are simple. Get out of bed, get dressed. Getting dressed can present choice challenges. I’m a woman, it’s not always simple. I try to keep getting dressed simple. Let me expand that to say it’s not hard to choose if I want to get dressed or not. It’s the choice of what do I feel like wearing. What am I doing? What feels good? Many times I would like to have more to choose from.

 

When choices feel challenging, what’s the real issue? It’s the black and white issue, the right or wrong issue. Life just is rarely that clean. Haven’t you ever made one choice, then all of a sudden the thing you didn’t choose looks better. Damn. Now sometimes you can find ways to have both. I like that. I know most of you do to. We find ways, excuses. For example when you are with someone else and you order dessert. Sometimes you are willing to order different things and share. Yea, and that doesn’t always work out now does it.

 

So what is it really? I’m taking this way to seriously. Good ol school training maybe. There’s only one right answer. I guess we can add religious training in there, that’s a big one. We all want to be the one’s that got it right. Especially when our consequences are hell. That makes choosing a hot topic. Yea, sorry.

 

OK, so I’m taking a deep breath. I’m going to laugh at myself now. Yea, go ahead, laugh at yourself also. OMG sometimes I just go off the deep end and actually believe what they taught me in school, life is a test. Sometimes there are multiple choice questions, fill in the blank and essay’s. Thank god for extra credit work.

 

As it turns out, life is just a series of choices. Sometimes my choices feel difficult because I just make them that way. Because even I don’t really trust I can have something better if what I currently have isn’t really fitting well. Let’s face it, even if you know in your heart it’s the best choice you need to make, it’s not black and white. It still hurts. Why? Because I haven’t jumped in with both feet. I’m looking back. I’m dragging my feet. I’m staying entangled just in case I want to change my mind. Because there was still good stuff back there. But, was it enough? Did I try my best? Yes, I did. I enjoyed the good stuff. I can have more. I know I can. I may have to wait a bit and make a few more choices. Like Goldilocks sitting in the different chairs, tasting the different bowls of porridge and beds. Finally finding what feels like a good fit. Even then, after a good snooze she was frightened out of a comfortable situation. She had to make another choice. Sometimes I need a poke or prode to make those choices. Can you relate?

 

I’m making a cleaner choice today. I have my head faced forward and I know I now have room for something that feels good. When I find myself looking back, which I know might just happen. I’m going to turn around and around and dance. I’m going to dance and do those things that make me feel good. I did my best back there. I’m going to create something even better today.

 

In Love and Joy,

Susan

 

 

Have you ever been gardening and thought about the fact that you are disturbing the environment of the bugs?  I’ll admit I’ve thought about it often.  It makes me wonder if we are the “bugs” in a world much larger than we can imagine.  OK, maybe it’s kinda weird, but I would imagine when we experience an earthquake, flood, tornado or some other “natural” disaster it might seem very similar to our bugs when when go moving things around.

Well, this wasn’t meant to solve anything.  I’m just sharing one of those thoughts that sometimes goes through my mind while playing in the garden.

I was dismantling a water vessel and could see many little creatures running for their lives.  I’m thinking the vessel may look cool in my small pond.  I just need to figure what I can put it on to have it at the surface of the water.  When it stops pouring outside I’m going to try turning a pot upside down.

Aiming to live in harmony with my environment to the best of my ability.

In Joy,

Susan

In the garden, I get out of my mind instead of “going out of my mind.” The physical work becomes a moving meditation when I notice my breath and allow thoughts to drift away. Without working at it the work becomes soothing. Pulling weeds, trimming bushes, laying mulch. It sounds like work. It feels good not to have to think or make decisions for a time. Just being. In the garden. At peace.

Like any other meditation thoughts can come in. I hear the neighbors talking. I hear life going on around me in the neighborhood. I just notice. I breath and feel this moment. I do have to make a choice. I can let those things draw me out of this moment or sink deeper within myself and just notice them. Just notice them and stay with myself. Notice what’s here right now, in the garden, within myself.

I thought I had been contemplating  appreciation for about a week.  The word was brought to my attention at the Lancaster Art Walk last week.  It just occurred to me that I was just reminded of it.  During the art walk I met the artist who created The Journey Oracle cards.  I asked a question about something that has been causing me a good bit of stress and the appreciation card popped up.

I realize now that appreciation has been bubbling around trying to get my attention for  a few months now actually.  A  few months ago I wasn’t feeling appreciated.  I wanted to be appreciated.  Low and behold shortly after I made that statement to a friend I received appreciation from a number of people.  Cool.

So appreciation has re-surfaced to teach me a bit more.  It has me contemplating.  I appreciate that.  I like to contemplate actually.  Appreciation has re-surfaced around something I’m not appreciating.  Uh-oh.  Or I should say I’m challenged to appreciate.  I have begun to find ways to appreciate it.  Sorry I’m being vague here.  I have to protect the innocent.  Changing their names isn’t enough.  Maybe I can help another way though.

Let’s face it, it’s easy to appreciate those things that make us feel good.  No brain-er.  I appreciate the view from my kitchen sliding glass door.  I have no view when I’m sitting in my office.  I appreciate my lap top, I picked it up and moved into the kitchen so I can glance up occasionally as I’m contemplating and enjoy the beauty of nature.  I also appreciate my new kitchen and table and chairs.  There’s a lot to appreciate here.  Now there is a thing or two I’m not so crazy about.  I have a small kitchen with very little storage so I put a very nice looking shelving unit in front of the sliding glass door that is stationary.  Hmmm…blocks my view a bit.  OK, so now I know I would prefer or appreciate a view with no obstructions.

OK, so here I can appreciate knowing what I don’t want so that I can create more of what I do want, and…the universe is listening.  I know it.  I will admit that somethings seem to show up easier than others.  You know like when I felt like I wanted to be appreciated before, that showed up pretty quick and easy.

Time is relative you know.  When something doesn’t feel good.  When a situation feels down right yucky dare I say.  I could use other words here, but I’m in a good mood, so yucky is good enough.  I really don’t want to contemplate how I really feel when “that situation” occurs.  What I do need to contemplate is what is the message here.  How can I appreciate this painful situation with a particular person.

One thing has occurred to me.  Maybe I just need to remove myself from the picture.  Maybe this person has entered to make it easy for me to leave.  I know I wouldn’t leave if everything felt good.  I wish I could actually.  Now that I think about that.  I would prefer to make a change just because something else just feels better.  So I’m asking here and now.  What would feel better?  I don’t want to feel forced out.  I can’t be pretty stubborn though.  So what if I just tell the universe, “you don’t need to hit me over the head.”  Just show me what would feel better and make it so good I can’t say no.  Thank you.

How about you?  Is there anything you’re having trouble appreciating.  What would you prefer “it” to feel like.  Contemplate what would feel better.

I’m going to relax and just be for now.  I’m going to appreciate this peaceful moment.  How about you?

In Joy,

Susan